I remember when I was in college, I went to a close friend's childhood home for Thanksgiving dinner with his family. My friend was openly gay at school, but he hadn't told his parents yet at the time. While we helped his mom prepare dinner in the kitchen, she told us a story about a kid in her class who was afraid of coming out to his parents. “I just feel so much for this child who believes there's a possibility that his parents won't accept and love him. That must be so hard.” To me, she was…

Congratulations, Internet friends. Congratulations, friends. You've made it through another week of the agonizing responsibility of adult existence . Thanks to the freedom of the weekend, and the power of therapy, it feels a little easier to bend over for the man and write stupid blurbs like this one. The truth is, though, life has been feeling an awful lot like groundhog day. As I've sworn off many of my vices since the pandemic's start, every day just seems pretty damn cookie-cutter. Even our…

It was 5 o'clock ten years ago

That's better

Bears are here too

It never ends

Tony Hawk was at the peak of his skating career during the early aughts. Back then, who would've thought that he would go on to become the biggest Twitter sensation in the skater community? Tony Hawk's tweets about being recognizable by name but not by face are legendary. Who could forget this instant classic? "TSA agent (staring intently): I’m trying to figure out who you look like before checking your ID. Me: ok TSA: that cyclist Armstrong! Nearby agent: that ain’t Lance Armstrong Me: he’s ri…

Raise your hand if a fern ruined your life

Happy weekend, internet friends. If you have been feeling anything like I am, then life must be feeling a whole lot like groundhog day. As I've sworn off many of my vices since the pandemic's start, every day just seems pretty cookie cutter. Even our beloved Fridays and Saturdays. Welcoming chaos into my life, whether in the form of alcohol, drugs, or dating, seems to have had a purpose: staving off boredom. As I struggle with the monotony of existence, and another shitty day at my shitty job,…

Oh boy

There has been a lot of drama in the Disney community this week, and it's all because of one theme park ride closing. Splash Mountain is not going away forever, but instead getting rethemed from featuring characters from Song of the South to Princess and the Frog . Splash Mountain was my favorite ride at Disneyland when I was a kid. It was the log flume at its peak form, with incredible animatronics and an epic 5-story drop. Even though I have a lot of nostalgia for it, I support the retheme. I…

Me, me, me

Nobody is in need of break to scroll through funny memes more than a mom or dad.

Not many people will ever find themselves in a position where they can turn down multiple job offers in the search for something better, but vetting a potential employer before taking a job should be something everyone is able to do. And when the job is an especially dangerous one, making sure you're not walking into a shitshow is imperative. This is what redditor u/Fun-Construction-112 didn't quite understand when his engineer girlfriend kept turning down jobs that were offering six figures. H…

It's true: Not everyone can be a brain genius. But despite what Rick and Morty fans might tell you, IQs don't mean much if you don't do anything with them. Take me, for example. My mother made the mistake of telling me my IQ when I was younger (it's the same as Snoop Dogg's, do with that what you will). She had high hopes for me and placed me in gifted programs. Unfortunately, due to my rebellious nature, I ended up dashing her dreams and getting straight Bs throughout my education. Fast forwar…

Remember a time before comic book movies were popular? Yeah, me neither. If the past ten years are any indicator, the Marvel Cinematic Universe and the DC Cinematic doo-doo pile are here to stay. But what if Marvel and DC and everybody else were honest about how they make their dumb comic book movies? Roger Horton investigates.