I don't believe in the divine rights of kings, but I do believe in the divine rights of memes.

Welcome to the good old kingdom of classical art memes.

The Super Bowl is only two weeks away, and we finally know who will play in the big game. The Kansas City Chiefs will go head-to-head against the Philadelphia Eagles at State Farm Stadium in Arizona. The Chiefs won the Super Bowl in 2019, and The Eagles won for the first time in 2017. This information might sound a bit basic to you real sports fans out there, but I'm here to educate my fellow ignorant slobs. My family has not had a great go about it with Super Bowl victories. My mom's a Bears f…

When I was applying for jobs, I was a bit skeptical of any company that asked me to take a personality test before the interview. I understand wanting to hire somebody with good vibes, but isn't that what the multiple rounds of interviews are for? You would think companies might do such a test to understand someone's temperament and working style to ensure they're suitable for this position. That, unfortunately, is not usually the purpose. Although it's quite shady, many jobs that use "personal…

One of the greatest mysteries of my life has been one I'm sure all of us have asked at one point or another; What does Butterbeer taste like? That unanswered query is why I recently marched down to the Harry Potter store right near the Flatiron Building and spent 12 whole American dollars on a foamy glass of Harry Potter's favorite beverage. Nobody had ever described what it tasted like to me, so I was excited and ready for anything. When I tell you it is simply a butterscotch-flavored crème so…

Breaktime

Living in New York City is a little different than the suburbs or even smaller cities across the country. Being exposed to the antics of other people almost 24/7 gives us what seems like tolerance for the quirks of other humans. In reality, at least for me, that tolerance is just me tuning them out. If I had a dime for every time another human, whether next door or on the subway, bothered me with their noise, their smells, or their general inconsiderateness, I'd have a million dollars. But alas…

Aww, yeah, it's Monday (again)! Our favorite day of the week, baby. As we've intimated a million times before, as arbitrary as time is, and as predictable as Monday is, it simply doesn't get any easier. The prospect of five days of drudgery can be pretty demoralizing, especially when you hate your job, are underpaid, and feel disrespected on the regular. But we digress. As terrible as Mondays are, and as much as we may dislike obeying the old five-day workweek, there are plenty of tools at our/…

You know what you're getting into!

The hallmark trait of a Karen is entitlement. Most Karens want to control every person around them, even while they are making the most demanding and absurd requests. Not only do they believe the world revolves around them, but they will ensure that everyone around them knows the world revolves around them and make it the public's problem. One of the worst breeds of Karens are those who accuse you of things you didn't do. Whether you're serving them in a restaurant or walking down the street ne…

The long tradition of kids messing with their aging parents is alive and strong.

Did you know that Opposite Day isn't a national holiday or even an unofficial holiday? That is an outrage. Silly little holidays are happening daily without fail, so why can't a day devoted to switcharoos get the 24 hours it deserves? My birthday is World Rabies Day , and that's a much lamer of holiday than Opposite Day could ever be. According to Wikipedia, it's a game played by children with no actual calendar date. If Opposite Day were real, then we adults wouldn't have to go to work that da…

He really thought he said something

I've got something important to tell you all: I am not an engineer, and I never will be. For those of you who are disappointed, I'm so sorry. My college major prepared me for writing paragraphs that precede lists of memes. I don't know what to tell you. If you're an engineer who thought that the people in the industry actually forge career-centric memes lists like these, I can't help but question your critical thinking skills—very liberal arts of me, I know. I might not be an engineer, but I do…

Don't be like this

Cocomelon could never