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made front page with no votes. i suspect sabotage! #paranoidparrot
also, your jaw has its own weight and you must manually support it, or at least acknowledge the fact that you are. :7
mind
MY TONGUE IS KILLING MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
You can’t explain that!
Im so strong psychologically, none of these horrible weapons affect me.
+1
I’m drunk, none of these horrible weapons affect me.
indeed
+1
I’m high. And I’ve already forgotten what it is i am trying to resist.
Same here.
ditto
Metapod
Kangaskhan
another random gay pokemon
another random LESBIAN pokemon
Lickitung?
lol ik had them before i read this XD
CO-CO-CO-COMBO BREAKER!
I tried them, but then, it didn’t work
Agreed…
I’m naked, so at least one of these horrible weapons don’t affect me.
+1
meh
FAI ON THE 2ND ONE!
I’m naked.
See nose in peripheral vision? CUT IT OFF
Don’t see nose in peripheral vision? It’s good to be Southern Asian. Untill the day you need glasses. Then you realise it’s good to have contact lences.
I’m Southern Asian. I SEE MY NOSE! AAAAAA
contact fences
+1
(u made me laugh about chinese or other asian people getting by communism fences)
actually the third one is inevitable the other ones do not affect me
i was aware of that before this, its not like the text is inducing it
This made my neck itchy.
I’m not wearing any clothes.
+ 1 internetz
i’m always breathing manually, that’s how the human body works
i can’t feel my clothes
no, i don’t hear anything
hmm.. is it?
I can’t see how this is considered trolling..
Really? So the only way you breathe is by remembering to inhale and exhale? What happens when you fall asleep? I guess thats manual too, huh
DOLPHIN!!
“i can’t feel my clothes”
you must be a dude.
No, breathing manually is not “how the human body works”. If breathing was manually we would constantly need to conciously decide to breathe.
It kind of is, because you can choose to start and stop whenever you please. Your heartbeat or digestion, on the other hand, aren’t. You can’t just decide for your heart to stop or your stomach to stop from your own free will.
actually, there’s these little tiny “signals” from your brain that “tells” your body to breath. it’s true
That would be “Automatically”, not “Manually”.
you are dead
sorry
too long. didn’t read
LOL.jpg
But you commented?
Critical Fail.
O_o
I’m not wearing clothes.
me gusta
+1?
+2. i dont wear clothes right now
but the tongue thing is really true i found out now lol
yep:P
Mine are quite comfortable, but I took them off when I read this. Also, it should say something about going to the bathroom.
Same here, I only have underwear.
And I have headphones on, so all I can hear is nyan nyan nyan from youtube.
(The breathing thing is really annoying though)
Ditto
Me neither! Being naked FTW!! ^^
I’m wearing clothes but I have no skin.
Scales!
LOLOLOL
Coincidentally, neither am I.
, i taught i was the only one hearing these crackles
I even made my mom take me to a ear doctor when i was a kid, but couldn’t explain myself properly…
I taught my ears had some sort of benign defect or something…
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Eustachian_tube
That’s the thing that makes the cracking sound when you swallow or yawn. It regulates the pressure in your ear corresponding to your environment. This is why, if you feel a pressure in your ears after using an elevator, you can yawn to make it gone.
Pressure after using an elevator? Never experienced that one. But on airplanes? Ugh.
If you live in a montaineous (?) place, driving up and down mountains will do that too.
When I go East of my town for a long ride, I need to stop at some point because my ears hurt.
Brotip : Breath thoughly with mouth shouted, and nose pinched so It will make an über high pressure in your airways.
Equilibrate pressure in an instant LIKE A BOSS.
P.S : as soon as it’s high pressure, it only works when you GO DOWN (other way it will make it whorse).
Is it the same thing when you go up into the mountains? I always just swallow (lolz) my spit and hope that makes it go away.
Yep.
FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU-
I wear glasses. I can’t see my nose in my peripheral vision. Also, I don’t have a tongue.
Who ever made this obviously forgot that mind tricks on work on the weak minded. Ask any Jedi. ^.^
There should have been one about your back itches…
Damn you!
….was something supposed to happen?
because there is a leprecaun sitting next to me, who is very uncomfortable…
f*ck you -.-
Why these dont have effect on me? The breath thing does, but the others doesnt.
you may also find it strange that without any muscular response or signal from the brain your heart beats. it beats and you cant control it
Didn’t work, but my right butt-cheek itches.
The swallow thing can be avoided.
The tongue thing was surprising me though, never realized it
My tounge’s always comfortable. Mostly because I mainline ecstasy every 10 minutes but whatevs
You are now aware that your are blinking manually
Manually means “by hands”, you know.
* closes eyelids by hand *
+1
+2
+12 inches
+1 +2 +12 = +15
‘was thinking of make the blinking comment but late.
No,
+1 +2 +12 = +1212
It’s Idiot science.
I have no nose.
I have an amazing nose, you smashing?
Not to be rude, but I think what you meant to say was: awwhahahwahrbgegarh, smashing.
Sounds like someone is trying to do Zen meditation.
CANT BREATHE
This is why I quit smoking weed.
OMG HOW’D ALL THIS SKIN GET ON MY ARM
Well don’t just stand there!!! Take it off!
I am also aware that reposts can make front page.
i wish my girlfriend would swallow
your boyfriend wishes you could too
AKA: Random dude #2
I have a piece of salty liquorice in my mouth, my tongue’s busy. Not a problem.
I’ve recently been amusing myself with the realization that I can see my BEARD in my peripheral vision. Not a problem.
I can move both my neck and my jaw in ways that make my bones crack loud enough to be heard by other people, and I enjoy doing so for kicks. Not a problem.
And I’m not wearing any clothes.
+1 Interwebz.
Can you see your cheeks and eyebrows in your peripheral vusion?
only when wrinckle for eyebrows and smilling for cheeks
Nope, problem?
DISTRACTING WITH EMERGENCY MASTRUBATION!!!!!
-1 internets
Fap fappington disapproves of fapping?
Dude, I’m autistic. I’ve been aware of every one of these my whole life.
Basically, welcome to my world…
wow, that is the opposite of adhd… normally i cant pay attention to this kind of thing for half a second, this is like noticing everything… constantly… this sucks.
The breathing one is the only one that worked.
pfft, my tongue is actually laying nicely in my mouth. fail.
you copied it from sexy and funny
i haz all ur basez
what clothes?
ah; apparently I’m not alone ^_^
^ Guys, we found Kyle!
you now have lupus
All this time I thought I just had a big nose
OMG WHAT IS THIS AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!
An excellent public health initiative. By an extreme use of exposure therapy, this poster has cured an entire generation of crippling neurosis!
didn’t work.
clever. they all worked for my until the tongue one. it’s very weird how you don’t think about things like that until they’re pointed out. well i didn’t anyway.
failz… I wear glasses, things in my peripherals dont bother me.
breathing not affected.
blinking isnt much of an issue, my eyes are dry anyways.
What clothes?
YOU F**CKING A**HOLE
I don’t get it.
I DONT HAVE ANY CLOTHES ON!! MAHAAHAHAHAHAHA
And my tongue hasn’t got a place in my mouth, it’s too busy in your mom.
BAM!
BAM… AHAHAHAHa
I’m on a roll… No a boat! I’m on a f**king boat! Weee…
drugs are bad kiddies.
If you’re really posting these comments on drugs, then I have been successfully amused. Well done, sir.
FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU-
Not really working right now
…You douche.
Didn’t work. The force is strong in me.
Already noticed all of them…except for the last one, but my tongue is always comfy
Only the nose thing actually worked. For 3 seconds or so.
lol win
all except the last one applies
Breathing is too mainstream.
I am not human, your psychological attacks have been unsuccessful
Okay…
Doesn’t work if you’re drunk. Me and half a bottle of bourbon iz unperturbed.
I love how everyone and their mother replies with U CAN’T AFFECT ME NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO I AM IMPERVIOUS TO YOUR TAUNTSSSSSSSSS
okay, and?
relaxed tongue comes out and asks “you jelly?”
Getting naked right away.
With the last fact I forget about the others.
the only one I had forgotten was the swallowing thing.
and since i always breathe through my nose i’m able to leave my mouth closed which allows my tongue to rest comfortably on the roof of my mouth
the breathing manually thing? i do it all the time
the peripherals? im always using my peripherals, im a musician
and the clothes thing> im constantly aware of my clothes touching my skin
therefore this “troll” has failed to annoy me
however perhaps my name may annoy you?
I don’t breath I’m Edward Cullen
I don’t wear clothes.
I’m not gay I don’t swallow.
Chuck Norris punched me so hard, I don’t have a nose
You’re right, it’s in your girl’s mouth.
“I’m Edward Cullen.”
“I’m not gay.”
CONTRADICTION!
“…I’m Edward Cullen”
“I’m not gay…”
Something just doesn’t add up.
Thanks Captain Obvious! I don’t know what we’d do without you.
Everything was like that for me except the tongue thing, and my tongue is pierced!
WHE DIDN’T I STOP READING THIS
I WAS FINE UNTIL THE NOSE ONE.
HNNNG WHY CAN’T I STOP LOOKING AT IT.
Your jedi mind tricks won’t work on me.
I can’t feel my clothes touching my skin; I’m naked. MUAHAHAHA!
I am chewing gum. 3 and 5 are invalid.
You just blew my MIND!
Only the breathing one worked on me.
i’m not wearing any clothes…
I don’t have a nose.
Lol im not wearing clothes…
None of those worked. Fail.
in all probability, these ARE the droids you are looking for…
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGHHHHHHHHHHHHH
1. Still breathing automatically
2. Clothes still don’t bother me
3. I have inner ear pressure troubles all the time anyway
4. My tongue is just resting as usual
Do these things usually work?
1: Doesn’t work on me
2: Haha not wearing clothes
3: God dangit…..
4: GOD DANGIT!!
5: Now thats just mean…..
you are now aware of the alignmant of your spine
My tongue is quite comfortable. I’m aware of my clothing. I was aware of that before reading this though. You know, because I knew I put it on and everything. And I can tell the difference between wearing clothing and not wearing clothing pretty easily.
sir ._______________________________.
please gtfo from mah ethernetz.
I dont think Lord Voldemort approves statement number four.
TLDR ;D
i don’t have tounge
Say it to the tune of MAD TV
You are now watching MAD TV…
You are now breathing manually
holds breath, gets naked, spits, looks up, cuts tounge off, smells defeat
When I realize the fact that I’m breathing and pay attention to it, I stop breathing.
I can’t feel my clothes touching my skin because I’m wearing silk boxers, some basketball shorts, and a thin t-shirt.
I was always aware that my nose is in my peripheral vision.
And my tongue never had problems finding a comfortable spot in my mouth. Though now that I think of it, I can feel the saliva in my mouth.
Fail psychological weapons are fail.
a better suggestion:u will fap soon.
People fail to notice these things? Lucky bastards.
haha no effect on any of these
I win
DAMNIT NOW MY TOUNGE IS UNCOMFORTABLE AND I CAN’T ENJOY MY ROYAL WITH CHEESE!!!
why did i keep reading this????
Fail. none of those happened. troll harder
-ffff-
Actually no. Clothes don’t actually ever “touch” you. You see, I learned this thing in physics class about molecules. Each of these things has electrons, which are negatively charged. Since everything is composed of molecules, everything is has electrons. Molecules behave like magnets, and when two same polarities meet, they repel. So, nothing ever “touches you.” The sense of “touch” is the repelling force between the skin and the object that comes in “contact” with, which in turn sends a signal to the brain notifying of the “contact.”
does that mean that i don’t walk, i hover?
are you God?
Technically, yes.
cool story, bro -pokerface-
By that logic no object could exist, e-e repulsion is only so strong. Molecules in an object would repel each other and blow anything apart.
Atoms must at some point contact each other unless every object is a giant molecule (ex. diamonds).
-truestory-
tldr
This picture is.
You, my friend, are a professional.
Somebody’s a boss, eh? Dude, calm down. They touch you. I’m an applied physics graduate student btw.
That was just plain dirty
haha this was awesome!!
-ilied-
I don’t this. my tongue is always in a comfortable place in my mouth.
*reads through comments*
HA!!!!! IM NOT WEARING ANY CLOTHES!!!!!!! UBER FAIL!!!!!!!1!1!111!!111
see how clever and creative i am with my comment?
off, Jesus.
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO make it stop
You are now blinking manually
You are now swallowing manually
my tongue always has a comfortable place inside my mouth. *smug face* it doesn’t bother me.
-fu-
The only thing that actually worked on me was the manual breathing, the other things I might have paid attention to while I was reading about them but it immediately stopped after I finished each sentence.
Still breathing manually… Oh well, if the centipede starts thinking about how to move its legs it will stumble.
Breathing manually…? So I’m breathing with my hands? Uh…
only girls could think about all of these at once. us guys can just forget this stupid stuff.
Yeah, I actually stopped doing all that manually 1 second after reading.
-no-
-fffuuuf-
Too long; didn’t read XD
neutrons dont have electrons :S
That’s why the tongue strives for a different mouth.
my tongue always finds a comfortable place in your mums mouth
You are now aware that every split second you have to look at a different spot on the screen
My tongue is always comfortable.
Problem?
My tongue rests on the roof of my mouth against my front teeth and it’s quite comfortable.
FFfffffffffffffffffffffffffffffff
IDK man, does this only work if you are not on drugs?
GAAAH WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO ME (also my teeth are now saying to my tounge ‘you shall not pass’)
-fffuuuuuu-
I don’t get the tongue thing.
Arhhh D:<
damn nose
Last one is fake. I drank soda.
-notbad-
I’ve always been aware that I hear a noise when I swallow (not a gagging one…..). I’m not wearing any clothes. I can’t see my nose becuase it’s blocked by my glasses. And my tongue is always comfortable in my mouth and someone elses mouth. Therefore….fail troll. Have a nice day.
Failed attempt at being clever.
Join us!
TL;DR
tl;dr, and i aint even wearing any thing. like a *do moonwalk*BOSS