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already posted!!!!!!
HELL YEAH!!! SECOND AND FIRST!!!!!!!!
FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!!!!
Well played atheist, well played.
The point is that Christians agree on what will occur but few believed it would happen on May 21st.
It’s not Christians vs. Atheists. The fact it didn’t happen on May 21st isn’t a victory for atheists, considering the vast majority of Christians also said it wouldn’t happen.
Sersly? The fact that Christians believe it will happen isn’t a fail? That stuff about atheists, homosexuals, muslims, bhuddists and jews suffering torment is perfectly reasonable?
Well, I felt it was wrong to put John Paul II in there- he had in several cases stated that Christians would not be the only faith in Heaven. He didn’t take prayers for Jewish conversions out of the Latin Mass, though, but yeah. Also, considering his WWII activities and his post-war orphan sorting, he probably wasn’t anti-Semitic. Gave Jewish kids who had been hidden by Catholics back to their Jewish families, and whatnot. It might have been better to put Martin Luther in the Jew-bashing part, as he actually advocated violent conversions and killings of Jews as a matter of policy.
“Gave Jewish kids who had been hidden by Catholics back to their Jewish families, and whatnot.”
Do something any moral person would do, is not a point in favor of that religion. It only makes them less insane.
“Martin Luther in the Jew-bashing part, as he actually advocated violent conversions and killings of Jews as a matter of policy.”
Citation needed
From http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/On_the_Jews_and_Their_Lies :
“In the first ten sections of the treatise, Luther expounds, at considerable length, upon his views concerning Jews and Judaism and how these compare against Christians and Christianity. Following this exposition, Section XI of the treatise advises Christians to carry out seven remedial actions. These are (1) for Jewish synagogues and schools to be burned to the ground, and the remnants buried out of sight; (2) for houses owned by Jews to be likewise razed, and the owners made to live in agricultural outbuildings; (3) for their religious writings to be taken away; (4) for rabbis to be forbidden to preach, and to be executed if they do; (5) for safe conduct on the roads to be abolished for Jews; (6) for usury to be prohibited, and for all silver and gold to be removed and “put aside for safekeeping”; and (7) for the Jewish population to be put to work as agricultural slave labor.”
Original document available here: http://www.humanitas-international.org/showcase/chronography/documents/luther-jews.htm
It’s common knowledge, but here you go:
http://www.humanitas-international.org/showcase/chronography/documents/luther-jews.htm
On the Jews and Their Lies from Luther’s Works Volume 47.
And also, catholics do not believe in the Rapture.
But it’s funny anyways…
^ this
Actually, it is quite recent that Christians have started believing in the rapture nonsense. It is fairly split among Evangelicals today, but people like C. S. Lewis, Martin Luther, and the Pope would all strongly disagree with this. So, the majority of Christians, (especially those who are well read), are not described with any accuracy by this meme.
Catholics don’t believe in a rapture and tribulation period. Our view is that the book of Revelations is a symbolic and coded work talking about the persecution of Christianity under the Romans.
The sad thing about science is we cant empircly disprove things. One of my favorites is saying that we could have all been created fifteen secodns ago with an illusion of the past.
The christian extermists do this in the most hilarious way, by claiming things like “god made light already in transit.” Was that before or after he made plants and animals appear in a universe lacking warmth of any sort, and thus, at absolute zero?
Seems kinda pointless to me.
”One of my favorites is saying that we could have all been created fifteen secodns ago with an illusion of the past.”
Hehe sometimes I think about it too, it’s a weird feeling.
Long, but I read it. Major lulz.
who are these people? the only one I recognize is Pop John the Paul of Second.
first one is charles stanley, second is billy graham, dunno, pope, jerry falwell, john piper, dunno dunno dunno
Last one’s Martin Luther. Third from last SHOULD have been Bishop James Ussher — the guy who calculated the date of the Creation (October 23, 4004 B.C. if you’re curious. About 10 in the morning.)
The one in the painting in Martin Luther, the father of reformed Christianity (i.e. Not Catholic)
I think the one in the painting is Martin Luther.
wasn’t he black?
(obvious joke is obvious)
King Jr? Doesn’t look black to me.
No, Martin Luther was a German Monk from the Medieval Time period.
It’s Luther.
I just failed at rickrolling. Damn. It’s still Luther though.
Next time try tinyurl
trololol
No, just Martin Luther
No, see, the famous black guy’s father was named after a much, much more famous, long dead white guy.
So famous that if you haven’t heard of him, you need to look up your high school world history teacher and smack him or her in the face.
Martin Luther was the guy who got protestantism going in Europe. While many historians attribute him as the father of protestantism, he is not, there has always been a few on the outer edges of the “Holy” Roman empire that did not subscribe to the paganism that the Catholic Church does. Catholicism does not equal Christianity, it is repackaged Classical Roman paganism.
Yes and they were called the Gnostics and were wiped out 1200 years ago. Unless you mean the Eastern Orthadox , but they came about because of a schizim between two groups of the catholic church. Oooooh wait you think that your particular group of protestants date all the way back to the time of jesus and is the “true” church. BWAAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!(POINTS AND LAUGHS) . All surviving forms of christianity derive from the catholic church and all protestants from martan luther. Im not even in your little book club and I know that much.
Actually there are a few christian traditions in Africa and in central Asia that developed in parallel to roman catholicism and never managed to be part of the catholic church. They are derived from the initial drive of traveling preachers in the 1st and 2nd centuries, before there was a hierarchical organization and central control in the christian movement.
But they were way to small and isolated for most of the time to have contributed to any development in christian movements in Europe. Discounting those few isolated communities, you’re perfectly right: all of current christianity derived from the catholic tradition by schism.
Charles Stanley, Billy Graham, C. S. Lewis, Pope John Paul II, not sure, John Piper, note sure, not sure, and I think the last one is Martin Luther. All famous Christian preachers and apologists.
True, so true!
whoops i accidentally read the whole thing
I accidentally the whole thing.
Christianity – the religion you can make fun of, because no one cuts your head off or throws acid on your face if you do.
Yup. And I’m glad they don’t burn us anymore.
And I’m also glad that a lot of religions don’t give a if we make fun of them.
Which ones are those?
They would 400 years ago.
Pretty sure some still do these days.
I tried to read it, but my brain automatically filters out religious (that is to say, anything to do with religion). So all I saw was tl;dr
Like who? O.o
LIKE ME!!! *prepares acid*
Read about the muslim-christian conflict in Nigeria.
And the vast majority of the other Christians in the world would condemn them for un-Christian behavior, whereas you’ll find Muslim apologists everywhere – even in America. Likewise, the percentage of Christians that would do such things is far smaller than the percentage of Muslims.
Christians have grown up, and have indeed helped to found America, a nation that respects individual choice and freedom more than almost every other (if not every other) country in the world. Muslim countries, however… they’re still mired in the dark ages.
Not sure if trolling or very stupid…
Nether, show me a rich Muslim country, and I will show you an economy based on getting a mineral out of the ground and selling it, rather than producing anything new.
America is not the most liberal country in the world, you. Far from it.
Interestingly, Muslim culture was the most advanced culture in Europe at the time of the Crusades and Judeo-Christian Western civilization and our ideal of higher learning would not be possible today had Christian Europe not collaborated (or whichever verb you find more appropriate) with the Muslims. Unfortunately, Islamic nations have lost a lot of that medieval open-mindedness and are now some of the most backwards civilizations in the world.
Long story short, why can’t we all just get along?
“Long story short, why can’t we all just get along?”
Not until I can go to the Middle-east and shout, “I’m an atheist” without being killed.
You can in most places as they won’t understand what you said.
My class mate already did here in dubai
If it was then why did their countries keep collapsing – why did so many Muslim Immigrants move to the Crusader Kingdoms after they learned in was nicer?
Why did Christian countries have councils of nobles who rules in favour of Muslims over Christians in the Middle east – where as Muslim Lords could take what they wanted from Christians and kill anyone who said no; We get along with Muslims in Christian countries – why don’t they do the same for us?
Wow, history fail.
It depends, if you go to a liberal college, none of what British said was right. If you do your own research and read some of the older books from the era he is spot on.
So the Muslims did slightly less wrong that the English and Spanish in the Americas? Okay.
AND they CANCELLED CHRISTMAS!!!!!
Judaism – the religion you can make fun of, because SERIOUSLY HOW DID YA FORGET THE BAGELS? What, you expect me to go to your service and not eat bagels? What’s wrong with you?
Ah, Fatwah envy.
Except in Africa.
Trust me, I make fun of all religions.
Oh yeah? You don’t even have to go back to the Inquisition to find christians doing that.
Tell that to some people in Ireland a couple of decades ago. Also tell that to some people in Rwanda, Nigeria and other countries in Africa who had people who called themselves christians killing in the name of.
i read the whole thing =(
You won’t be raptured then
Yes, tomorrow
America — the place where if you make fun of another religion and get away with it nobody will kill you. At least not very much. Unless you’re black.
Or in Texas.
Number 3 is CS Lewis. I doubt he’d have anything to say to this nutbag.
Harold Camping – prophet, liar, or lunatic?
TL? WTF? Not like it’s fine print or anything. Is it just that it’s more than one screen? Lazy.
I’m not monna red all that shet
lol that was pretty funny
The thing is, most of what he said was true. There are two points he was wrong on (and I know this wasn’t quoted of Harold Camping, it was made up by the OP). Firstly, no one can know the day or hour. If they claim to, they are defying the word that they supposedly believe in. Secondly, he doesn’t know if atheists, muslims, jews, etc will not be taken to heaven. Judging of those persons is up to God and God alone. If he judges them by deeming them unqualified to enter heaven, he is again defying the word of God.
Simply put, Harold Camping used 90% of the bible to further his corrupt cause. He ignored the 10% that invalidated his cause.
It is up to God to judge them, not us. But it does clearly state in the bible that only those saved by the blood of Christ will be saved on Judgement Day and that in order to be saved by the blood of Christ you must enter through Christ’s body (his church). All those who don’t even believe in Christ to begin with don’t enter Christ’s church, therefore they can’t be saved by the blood of Christ. People can say it’s up to God to judge all they want, but it’s still up to us to seek the truth in what the bible says and learn what God commands in order for us to be saved. There’s nothing in the bible that says “You’ll be saved as long as you were a good person” and there are verses that instead tell us we can’t be saved by faith alone.
Meh : In my Catholic Church, we didn’t drink wine ”transubtiated” into blood. Only the priest did. I think it was still done during my parent’s time, but they stoped doing it, likely for hygienic reasons.
We only ate ”His body”-piece of bread as part of the regular celebration.
Does that mean we’re not going to Heaven according to other Christian mythologies?
By all that christian talk you’re kinda asking for trolling, but i completely agree with you.
If you’re going to go by the Bible with the “no one can know the day or hour” then you should also know that anyone who doesn’t accept Jesus as lord and savior goes to hell.
Don’t try to take the Bible as little for what it says in one part, and then ignore what it says even more plainly in another.
“Judging of those persons is up to God and God alone.”
Not really. One of the promises imparted to the first pope (supposedly) what that whatever the church holds true on earth he’ll hold true on heaven. The pope could change it, but as far as I know, he’s never said “everyone will be judged based on works, not on whether or not you believe in Jesus.”
“Simply put, Harold Camping used 90% of the bible to further his corrupt cause. He ignored the 10% that invalidated his cause.”
And you used 50% of the bible and ignored the 50% that doesn’t agree with you. Apparently, Harold Camping has a greater chance of being accurate than you do.
Umm, nope can’t find it in my Bible, “Pope is mentioned a whopping 0 times as well as any authority he might have.
Peter is mentioned as the “rock” Jesus will build his church on and that’s all.
Historically he never left Israel (so no founding of the church in Rome.)
Next time before you start spewing percentages you might try to do some reading on the subject.
The pope only speaks for the catholic church and no one else, the only similarities between catholicism and Christianity are the names and that’s it!
What are you rambling about? You’ve clearly not even read the post you’re ranting about, so how you can say anyone needs to read up on the subject is baffling. Kem pretty clearly said that that was supposedly told to the first pope; why are you involving the Bible?
As for Catholics being similar to Christians only through name, well… wow. There’s so much wrong with that I’m not even going to bother going into too much detail. Catholicism is just one branch of Christianity, and if anything’s the ‘real’ Christianity that things get compared to it would be that. Most others stemmed off from it out of selfish desires (not some claim to have heard God, or whatever prophets are supposed to have done), such as some fat guy wanting a divorce. So tell me, what Christians are Catholics so different to, and what makes them the real Christians? More to the point, what do they have to do with anything when someone’s specifically talking about the pope, and therefore Catholicism?
How is he defying the word of God by simply parroting it? The Bible makes it very clear that unless you’re lucky enough to be born into the right religion then you burn for eternity. He’s not saying they go to Hell because he’s judged them unworthy of Heaven, he saying they go there because God’s specifically stated they’re going to Hell.
This pick n mix religion is ridiculous; you’re criticising a man for ignoring parts of the Bible that he didn’t agree with and then you go and do the exact same thing.
That is why Christians have a “great commission” to tell the world about God’s sacrifice for humanity. People don’t go to hell because they don’t worship Christ, the go to hell because they are liars, cheaters, adulterers, murderers.
Salvation is a gift but like any gift it must be accepted. See the bible for the details.
Nope, they go to Hell because they don’t worship Christ. Actions are irrelevant – thieves and liars go to Heaven if they’re Christian, whereas the most kind and charitable people in the world go to Hell if they’re anything else. See the bible for details. I strongly recommend that you do, you’ve posted quite a few times and almost almost all of them have shown a bizarre ignorance of the religion you claim to follow.
One thing though… in what way is not torturing someone for eternity a gift? I’m not torturing you right now, am I doing you a favor? You’ve not accepted my gift of freedom from torture, so how is it that you’re not being tortured? If all gifts must be accepted and being free from torture is a gift, you should be being tortured right now. If I were to decide I was going to torture you, but then decided I could kill myself/my son for a few days (in other words, go for a slightly long nap) to satisfy my blood lust just enough to allow you to be my eternal slave instead, have I then done you one?
If I were you to offer this ‘gift’ of not suffering for eternity, and I required that you accepted it for you to not suffer, why wouldn’t I tell you I’d offered you that gift? If I don’t tell you then you can’t accept it. It’s very simple. Assuming you’re correct, God’s decided to plant as much evidence as possible to show he doesn’t exist and then starts blaming everyone else when people don’t accept the offer he’s deliberately hidden from them. Heck, he’s (the Christian version, anyway) even made himself a logical impossibility by making himself an internally contradictory claim in order to deceive people. Most theists would say logical contradictions are impossible even for the all powerful, so I have no idea how he’s pulled that off.
The point of the image is that believing Jesus will return someday at an undetermined date is no less silly than believing he will return on a specific date.
But if you’re going to go by that book, it’s pretty explicit about only people who worship Jesus as a god going to heaven, everyone else gets the lake of fire (or garbage dump depending on translation).
Christians: they are only good for something when they are your Mexican housekeepers.
Mm hmm, yeah. And helping feed the poor and hungry everywhere we can. Africa, Haiti, and even in small local cities. I don’t see many other people doing much. :\
Only if they’re Christian, or willing to pretend.
Right, Christians are the only ones helping anybody. I’d say thanks, if I thought you could hear me up in your ivory tower.
^this
Well, my church regularly participates in charity events, including a yearly “toys for tots” thing where we fill a shoebox with toys and send them off to families in need. The church where I work (a different church) independently owns and operates a full time food pantry. I cannot think of a single private charity in my area that isn’t operated by a Christian church.
Is every church good? Nope. There are several bad ones. Is every charity associated with a church? Nope. There are some secular ones, and others based on different religions. But that doesn’t change the fact that Christians by-and-large are decent people, and account for a hefty share (if not lion’s-share) of the charity in the US.
(No, I’m not counting tax-funded welfare as ‘charity’ – charity is willing, taxes are not.)
I’ve been doing charity work ever since I was in high school and I plan on joining as many of these events as I can. Not ONE of the charity events I joined was organised by a church. Go figure!
You DON’T have to be a Christian to understand that you should help those who are less fortunate. Moreover, atheists who do charity work do so because they are genuinely decent people who believe it’s the right thing to do – they’re not like a lot of the Christians, who take part in charity events mostly because they know it’s a good deed that the Big Guy will take into consideration when deciding where they will spend eternity.
“who take part in charity events mostly because they know it’s a good deed that the Big Guy will take into consideration when deciding where they will spend eternity.”
They think. According to the Bible, we are saved by grace alone, so that(paraphrasing) no one can get high-and-mighty and brag.
That’s hardly a universally held interpretation. Some christians believe that salvation is through good works and sacrifice, others adherence to God’s laws, others predetermination, others the acceptance/belief that Jesus is the savior. Can you cite any passages (from the gospels preferably) to validate your argument? Of course, I’m certain that other passages will contradict any claim of a single source of salvation.
The belief, based on the Bible, is the acceptance of Jesus as lord and savior.
John 14:5-6
5 “Thomas said to him, “Lord, we don’t know where you are going, so how can we know the way?”
6 “Jesus answered, “I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.”
If you don’t believe, it doesn’t matter how good you were/are. You go to hell (or at least don’t go to heaven).
It’s amazing how little most Christians know of their own books.
According to the Neo-Protestant interpretation of the Bible. Catholic and Orthodox Christians do not agree with this interpretation.
I can see MANY other people doing much, much more. Seriously, are you that delusional? You think christianity holds the monopoly of goodness in the world?
You mean all the money that you use to build more giant, massive churches? Golden pillars in an enormous building doesn’t help the less fortunate people of the world in any way I can see.
Yeah – every Christian church does this. My church was in an empty Home Depot building with no carpeting and metal chairs for a year before we got *gasp* pads for the seats!
That’s okay though because it was a step up from the Jr. High lunchroom we used to meet in every Sunday.
Mine was in a school auditorium, then instead of the Vatican paying for the new church with their hundreds of billions of dollars, they had to raise $1.5 million from the congregation.
Then before we had even paid that off, the Monsignor wanted to spend another $500,000 on a bell tower. My dad, who with nearly 30 years experience managing finances for the military, said to wait during the finance council meeting (which he was the head of), the monsignor changed the finance council meetings to when my father couldn’t attend them and refute the pompus, egotistical m******ucker.
It was about this time that I left the church forever, but I still got to hear about the horror story that continued.
The Monsignor proceeded to spend more money on land for a cemetary, another building for church offices (there are already offices in the new church), a playground, and a mosoleum without approval from the finance council.
That monsignor is now gone from the church, but his legacy remains in the form of tons of debt and tons of interest on the payments they can barely make… and all of it a collective burden of the congregation.
That monsignor is one epic troll….
Isn’t that what all clergy are?
“My dad, who with nearly 30 years experience managing finances for the military”
…No disrespect to your father, I’m sure he’s a very hardworking and responsible American, but in the future maybe just say he “managed finances for 30 years.”
See, how should I put this….often the budgets of the military are not the model of efficency the taxpayers would like them to be. In fact, when you described what that awful Monsignor did, I thought “he’d make a good military finance officer!”
Oh yeah, with the Vatican being the richest state in the world and all that. “We don’t care for material riches” my ass.
You can’t say that all Xians take charity money and build golden stuff with it. Like someone who posted above, my church is also a second-hand building, so to speak – an old WW2 German Army barracks. lol
You are joking, right? I thought arrogance was a pretty big no-no according to that superstition, especially when it’s as laughable as that.
If you seriously don’t see anyone else being charitable then you’ve lived a painfully sheltered life, most likely dedicated entirely to that church by the looks of things.
why do you have to be so blatantly rude?
Because it’s not funny otherwise.
^Yes. Yes.
Not all Christians believe in a rapture
Harold Camping didn’t believe that the dead would “be given new bodies” and neither do all rapture believing Christians
Not all Christians believe that people of different faiths or beliefs will go to hell
But meh, continue to make uneducated sweeping generalisations, but don’t you think it’s starting to get old?
The bible clearly states the beliefs you’re supposed to have. Yet no 2 Christians agree on any of it. This leads me to believe its all complete rubbish.
Be fair; the Bible does indeed clearly state what beliefs you’re supposed to have, but since pretty much every statement or story has several contradictory ones the chances of finding two Christians who agree entirely are negligible.
Thank you!
Catholics don’t believe in the rapture.
The more you know.
Catholics also aren’t creationists. The official position is that god made the world, but had to dumb the process down for the people who wrote the bible. They did learn something from the Galileo debacle!
“Catholics also aren’t creationists.”
…While the last few Pope’s have accepted evolution as a legitimate scientific theory* many Catholics are still YECs. Many of the “scientists” at the Discovery Institute (those clowns responsible for Intelligent Design Creationism) are Catholic.
*anyone who doesn’t know the diference between a regular theory and scientific theory needs to get a 6th grade education before responding.
Neither do most Christians. Only Camping and his crazy followers do. Or, rather, did.
Wait, reply fail. I thought you meant May 21st. Disregard that comment.
Many American Christians do believe in the rapture – they just don’t believe the date will be known; only God knows.
The joke of the post is how Christians call Camping crazy for his belief on the date on the rapture, when in fact, all of them are crazy for believing the whole Bible story.
Neither do Orthodox Christians.
However, both Catholics and Orthodox (the 2 largest Christian denominations) believe in the Judgement Day, when the “good” Christians will go to heaven and “bad” Christians and the non-believers will go to hell. So there’s not that much of the difference between them and the ones who believe in the rapture.
No, they don’t (since the Rapture was invented by a Protestant preacher in the 19th Century).
But they do believe in a second coming of Jesus and a day of judgement.
Why the heck are Christians the only people who get made fun of?
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Everybody_Draw_Mohammed_Day
http://i.imgur.com/IRF3f.jpg
why do christians feel persecuted all the time
Because Atheists like to reuse things and think it’s funny.
Personally, I can’t stand either side.
God made agnostics to be the world’s referees, and I love them for it.
Agnostic is not a middle position. It is a claim as to whether or not something is knowable. Atheism is the about belief. Obviously belief and knowledge are two different topics, thus atheism and agnosticism are not mutually exclusive.
In fact, most atheists are also agnostics (i.e. agnostic atheists), including Dawkins, Harris, Hitchens, etc. People that claim to be agnostics, are just atheists without the balls to say they don’t believe in a deity.
Just to clarify, agnostic atheists do not believe in a deity, but we do not claim this as a certainty. We simply thing it is very unlikely that a deity exists because there is no evidence for any deity. If you want to make use believers it’s pretty easy: provide objective, verifiable evidence your deity exists.
What’s this? Someone who actually knows what they’re talking about? A rare find; I salute you!
Thanks.
You’re very welcome. Although, it certainly doesn’t say anything good that I’m congratulating someone for having a simple grasp of the most basic terminology involved; it’s quite remarkable that so many people know literally nothing about what they’re saying, and yet will happily churn out several paragraphs of nonsense without once stopping to think and analyse what it is they’re actually saying. The definitions of the words we use should surely be one of the most important things to learn, since your entire argument would be based upon it. How can someone argue against atheism (just as an example) when they don’t know what it is?
American atheists are by and large christian atheists. Meaning that Christianity is the dominate religion, and those with no faith generally have to defend their lack of faith against that particular religion.
If you’re an Atheist in India i doubt you worry much about Christians wanting to shove the 10 commandments in your schools or workplaces.
No, we’re just atheists. We reject all deities, not just of the Abrahamic religions.
American christians are by and large Hindu, Muslim, Egyptian, Greek, Norse (etc) atheists. Christianity is the dominate religion, and those with that faith generally never have to defend their atheism of other faiths against those particular religions.
If you’re a Christian in America I doubt you worry much about Muslim females being murdered by their families because they were forced to have sex against their will and subsequently told it was their own fault.
If you pay close attention, you’ll see that it’s not just Christians – all theists are made fun of.
The reason – it’s so easy to push their buttons.
^^ this
They’re not, and people would be less likely to make fun of christians if they stopped taking the bait from trolls. You want to believe? Fine, here are your options:
1) just keep it to yourself
2) stay off of obvious troll sites
3) learn to deal with it
Because until christians stop getting so upset about these types of things they will keep getting trolled. Also, watch Religulous.
Would you rather get the treatment the Jewish people have found themselves recieving from time to time? I’m sure they would have gladly switched their torment for your getting made fun of.
good thing most christians did not believe in the rapture.
But most do believe in Judgement Day so be careful until October.
It was funny until the last frame. How did this POS get on the main page?
I’m very, very confused as to why C. S. Lewis is being included with the others in this group. Other than “The Last Battle,” I don’t think he really touched on the issue of the End Times – and considering the amount of text he wrote, this amounted to a very small percentage.
Somehow I feel like the rapture will only happen when God says “I’m in the mood to punish the non-believers down there. Time to start on the rapture.”
we breath oxygen. but there are faries in oxygen. just because the firsat part is right and last part is wrong dont make the entire statement untrue.
whats funny is that a pre-tribulation rapture idea is only about 150 years old whereas scripture speaks frequently about a post-tribulation rapture… also, quoting that “nobody knows the day or the hour ” is crap because Christ is speaking of his second coming, which is always denoted with a, “… and this will happen when you see this…” type verse… read scripture thoroughly and completely and you will understand not to take little phrases and ideas and think you have a case to stand on…
I believe that you have just discovered an amazing piece of evidence that could revolution christian thinking: The Bible contains contradictory information!!!!!!!!
i did read it tho..
Why is half of this wrong?
Even Martin Luther? XD
Just because someone is homosexual, doesn’t mean they’re going to hell and can’t be a Christian. Yes, being homosexual is a sin. But we are all sinners. Christians are sinners. What I’m trying to say is, being homosexual doesn’t automatically make you go to hell/get left behind. Being a non-believer does. You can be homosexual and still be a Christian and get into heaven, because God is a loving and forgiving god.
Also, I found this quite funny. I am a Christian and I have been laughing at Harold Camping because of his riduculous claims. Only the father knows. Camping is a lunatic.
…but only if you never act on your desires and you’re genuinely sorry for the way you are. Oh, and if you’ve ever criticised God in any way you’re damned whatever you do. Good old unforgivable sins.
I also quite like how you think you can claim he’s a loving and forgiving God after going on about how non-believers will burn for eternity, but you can do whatever you like and get into Heaven if you worship him. That’s some excellent trolling you’ve got going on right there.
Being good or bad dosen’t matter to religion, as long as you follow its doctrine. This is why non-believers dont feel the need to threaten everybody else with eternal damnation, or fly planes into buildings.
Christians are sinners? False:
“But Noah found favor in the eyes of the LORD. These [are] the generations of Noah: Noah was a just man [and] perfect in his generations, [and] Noah walked with God.”
Gen 6:8-9
Problem?
Wow. That’s pretty vile.
that sad thing is that i actually DID read it all
There are so many crazy people in your crazy religion.
Seriously, this guy moved the date to OCtober 21st. He stated that God came down on us in a spiritual sense. Harold Camping has raked in millions from this whole nonsense so its obvious he is just a greedy bastard and probably has a God complex from spewing this stuff for so long. Let me point out to you that it’s only Christians like him and Westboro that get media coverage. I tell you guys, these people account for only about 10%, if even that, of the Christian religion. Many miracles and good things are done in the church, y’all should step in one some time.
In the US it’s more like 40%.
The year 8510 is when judgment day will arrive.
I’ll go with that, Lol.
It’s not supposed to be a punishment for non believers, it’s a fulfillment of God’s covenant. Everything will be made new. No pain, suffering or death. I don’t know where people get the idea that God is malevolent. We should take responsibility for our own actions when things seem bad. Just because things don’t go our way doesn’t mean God hates us. Discipline itself is something that comes out of love. Everybody needs it, not everybody accepts it. The same is true for Christ. Nobody’s perfect, but He’s our only opportunity to fulfill our purpose to glorify God, not just so we can obtain eternal life for ourselves, but so we can glorify God eternally.
If you don’t agree with my beliefs, it’s cool. I don’t judge, it’s not my place.
Peace & Love
“I don’t know where people get the idea that God is malevolent.”
You never read the parts where he commands genocide? How about Judges where he accepts a human sacrifice other than Jesus? Punishing all of mankind because a woman did something bad before she even knew the difference between good and evil? Creating a place of eternal tourture for everyone born in a part of the world that has a different main religion even though he must understand how difficult it is to change religion thanks to indoctrination, and he made the command that judgement is based on belief instead of works knowing this? Creating a global flood that killed EVERYONE except for 8 people, which must include a fairly large number of innocent children as well as unborn children?
And you wonder how people get the idea that God is malevolent? It’s not obvious?
So the old douche is the one making the christians look stupid right after they’ve said that the world is only a few thousand years old, atheists, homosexuals and jews will go to hell, som old dude will burn the universe and roll it up like a piece of parchment (first seen around the 5th century btw), there will be trumpets in space and zombies will appear in the name of the holy lord.
I see how HE is making them look bad, they were floating around so graciously before.
Lol read my mind.
Im surprised no one mentioned Mormons. Are they only good for magnets? XD
I really wish people would stop trying to tell God what to do.
“I really wish people would stop trying to tell God what to do.”
…But sometimes God forgets that some group we don’t like needs to be punished so we need to remind him. For example, us good loving Christians needed to start a webpage called “prayforchristioherhitchens” were we pray for Christopher Hitchens to burn in Hell because God might not have noticed that he is an atheist and might forget to send him to the Lake of Fire for eternity.
I always thought Christians did good deeds because they knew they were going to heaven and wanted to thank God for it with what little service they could give Him while still on Earth.
The problem with Harold Camping is not just with the rapture, but with several of his doctrines apart from it as well. He’s a false teacher.
God told us what he was going to do. It may not come as expected or look even close to what we think it will, even with the graphic descriptions in Revelations. But God said it, God will do it, and that’s that. He didn’t say when He would do it though.
The events described in Revelation have already occurred. That book was written describing contemporary events in hyperbole and metaphor. If you are seeking an understanding of the Bible, it is necessary to educate yourself about both the author of each book and the time and place in history its writing originates from.
“God told us what he was going to do. It may not come as expected or look even close to what we think it will, even with the graphic descriptions in Revelations. But God said it, God will do it, and that’s that. He didn’t say when He would do it though”
Yes, that’s WAY more reasonable than what Camping preached.
^sarcasm
I didn’t TL;DR that one, I wish I did. o_o
absolutely right, this douche bag makes Christians look like idiots
that does TL;DR stands for ? It’s bugging me for a while now ..
Too long; didn’t read.
I’ve read those parts. Just today actually. People bring punishment on themselves. God gave them so many chances to follow Him but they chose to be foolish, worshipping other Gods and living sinful lives. Rightfully, He could have wiped out the whole earth, but he stayed true to his promise after the flood. It’s easy for us to feel opressed when things go wrong in our lives because we’re selfish by nature. There’s always hope though. If we’re willing to let God get rid of our sinful nature. God is merciful and gracious.
Assuming for the sake of argument your story is true, I think it’s clear that god made us wrong. He made a mistake. Otherwise, why would we choose to be foolish and live sinful lives?
I suppose you’re going to say something about free will, right? Before you do, though, I have another question: Is there sin in Heaven? No? Oh, ok, then in that case does one have free will in Heaven? If so, then it’s clearly possible to have free will and not want to sin. Please explain how he didn’t in fact create the environment in which it was desirable to sin. I submit that he did.
According to your story, God created us wanting to sin (his mistake), and then, rather than just click his fingers and fix us, he insists on sending us to Hell for eternity unless we believe in Jesus being given up to him as a blood sacrifice in order to cleans us of our sins. Oh, that was after the first plan – namely drowning almost *everyone* and starting over – failed. Seriously.
Merciful and gracious? Sounds more like a case of gross incompetence, IMO.
I look forward to your well reasoned reply.
Why does worshipping other gods require punishment? What’s wrong with it?
God doesn’t appreciate calling him by another name or following a different ancient book apparently.
But again, I realize people have other beliefs so I totally respect that. I’m not trying to convert anyone or condemn them. I know people like Hitler claimed things in God’s name, and it’s sad that the truth gets so distorted like that. Just know that there are level headed, bible reading Christians who do have sound theologies, and that God loves us all.
Once more, peace & love
“God loves us all”
… but will send us to Hell for eternal torture if we don’t believe something for which there is no evidence.
Like an abusive husband screaming “why do you make me do this to you?!!” at his wife while he hurls his fists at her face. “I love you!” he cries, “This is all your fault, you know? Why can’t you just hang the towels straight!”
Can you explain how your god is any different?
I’ve seen this comparison before and it works extremely well. As far as I can tell it’s an almost perfect analogy.
Of course, this is the point that someone claims that making such a comparison is highly insensitive, so that they don’t have to address the issue. They only say this because, deep down, most people are aware it’s a piece of fiction. Comparing real life suffering to fictional suffering is indeed insensitive; if God were real, however, it wouldn’t be fictional suffering. It would be real suffering and the comparison wouldn’t be even slightly insensitive. If anything, it would be insensitive on the people being tortured for eternity.
“[...] it’s sad that the truth gets so distorted like that [...] ”
I always wonder: How do you *actually* know what the truth of the Bible so that you can tell that other people distort that truth?
How do you know that the Bible is not intended to be read entirely literally, as Ken Ham wants you to? Or how do you know that you should NOT kill someone for working on the Sabbath?
There are no sound theologies. Either you go 100% literal, and then you’re a crazy loon such as Harold Camping. Or you go part literal, part metaphorical, but then you are arbitrarily cherry-picking. Why take that part literal and that part not? Why hate homosexuals (because the Bible says so), but NOT give away all your wealth (which the Bible says as well)?
^This, pretty much.
The Bible is pretty specific in its demands to kill people to such an extent you’d be committing genocide. If anyone’s twisting its words and misrepresenting the ‘truth’ of the Bible, it’s the people claim that its demands to kill people are really metaphors for… well, I have no idea what it’s supposed to be metaphorical for. “It’s metaphorical!” is an extremely tired and overused way of saying “I don’t like this/I’m not allowed to act like this, so I’ll ignore it”.
“I’m not trying to condemn anyone or say they can’t follow their religion, I’m just saying that they’re sinful and deserve eternal damnation because they chose to not be indoctrinated into the same religion I was, which makes them foolish since my position is clearly the height of rationality. God should rightly kill them all, but already promised that he wouldn’t go on yet another genocide and decided to stay true to his promise for once so that makes him a really kind and loving guy.”
Uh huh… you’re not really doing any favors for this level headed Christian image.
What exactly is a “sound theology”, and how do you tell if a theology is sound or not sound?
“What exactly is a “sound theology”, and how do you tell if a theology is sound or not sound?”
…Gently tap on your theology. A good sound theology should make a soild “thump” noise. However, if you here a lighter echo noise, you have unsound theology.
“I realize people have other beliefs so I totally respect that. I’m not trying to convert anyone or condemn them.”
…That seems at odds with what you wrote less than ten minutes earlier:
“God gave them so many chances to follow Him but they chose to be foolish, worshipping other Gods and living sinful lives”
I don’t know about that “born into the right religion” stuff, but there have been places that know the name of Jesus and have faith in Jesus because of a dream someone in their vicinity had had before missionaries came and showed them the Bible. I know someone may read this and say “Well how does anyone know…” and have a bunch to say on this, but every religion in the world, as well as the absence of religion, requires some faith. And I happen to have faith in the missionaries that return with those accounts.
The absence of religion does not require faith. It is the default position. You choose to believe those missionaries. Why don’t you believe the Islamic missionaries, or the Mormon missionaries, or the Scientologists? They all have similar “stories” they tell to convince anyone.
Believing the accounts of these missionaries is like blindly believing what a car salesperson tells you. Of course they tell you that it’s a great car, because they want you to buy it.
Did you seriously just claim that people had knowledge of Jesus before every hearing about him? Please, provide a source for that. It should be extremely enlightening. Bear in mind that it’ll contradict very specific claims of the Bible though (some of which would say that such a claim is an unforgivable sin), so be careful how you tread here.
Faith simply isn’t required. An absence of belief, by definition, can’t require faith. Faith is believing without evidence (or despite the evidence, in today’s world). How can someone who doesn’t believe have faith?
Sure they knew about Jesus before Jesus was around. Look up Horus, sounds like Jebus to me.
Should’ve mentioned he sounds way more badass and the stories are better.
“I don’t know about that “born into the right religion” stuff, but there have been places that know the name of Jesus and have faith in Jesus because of a dream someone in their vicinity had had before missionaries came and showed them the Bible. ”
Sure they did. And the tooth fairy is real too.
“And I happen to have faith in the missionaries that return with those accounts.”
…And I happen to have some magic beans to sell you.
Those stories of missionaries finding remote tribes having magically heard about Jesus have all turned out to be either hoaxes or it turns out the missionary was just lying. It’s a strange phenomenon where people think it is a virtue to lie to further the cause of their own religion (see the supposed death bed conversion of Carlin or Darwin).
If you are serious about your religion, however, you can’t ignore that 9th commandment; lying for Jesus is still lying.
Btw, while I’m on the subject of lying for Jesus, I should add this:
If anyone wants to see how little religion should be trusted, Google “Martin Luther great big lie for god” to see some of the quotes by Martin Luther about how he advocated lying about god-stuff to trick people into joining your religion.
You have to consider that it basically invalidates any claims made by religious leaders (if you didn’t realisze they shouldn’t be trusted already).
Philippians 2:10-11
Therefore God exalted him to the highest place
and gave him the name that is above every name,
that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow,
in heaven and on earth and under the earth,
and every tongue acknowledge that Jesus Christ is Lord,
to the glory of God the Father.
I look forward to when mockers like you bow their knees to Jesus.
I look forward to when mockers like you bow their knees to one of the infinite amount of other gods who are at least as likely to exist, if not moreso, as your specific sky wizard.
Or just actually read the Bible and realise it’s the worst piece of fiction ever written. Blatant contradictions, the stories are often completely unrelated to the others, extremely poorly translated… It’s almost as if someone just grabbed a bunch of arbitrary stories and attempted to stick them together with no concern for quality.
Like when your mom did it in front of your gardener?
“I look forward to when mockers like you bow their knees to Jesus.”
…You have to realize the utter absurdity of trying to prove a book is true by quoting the same book. If I don’t believe in that stuff, why would quoting it change anything??
Person 1: “I can fly!”
Person 2: “I don’t believe you.”
Person 1: “I also wrote down the words “I can fly” in this book.
Person 2: “Well, maybe you can fly!”
Well, that was entertaining.
This is pure win
The crazy part is not the date, the crazy part is the whole rapture!
k First off.
Martin Luther = started the Protestant church.
Second off, Christians dumb and gullible? Sadly *all* religions have that effect on people, Islam, Christianity, Judaism, Jainism, Hinduism, you name it. We’d be a bit saner if we didn’t follow religion perfectly to the god danged book (imho)
Third off, There’s always gonna be some kinda idiot who’ll go ahead and claim THE END OF THE WORLD IS NEAR when it isn’t.
Fourth: If it weren’t for Jews you Christians would still be pagans, so next time you see a Jew, thank him/her.
“If it weren’t for Jews you Christians would still be pagans, so next time you see a Jew, thank him/her.”
…Or chew him out for enabling all these fundie lunatics who make life hard for anyone who doesn’t subscribe to their particular brand of nonsense.
“… Or Chew him out for enabling all these fundie lunatics who make life hard for anyone who doesn’t subscribe to their particular brand of nonsense.”
If it wasn’t the christians it would be some other crazy religion sadly…
achem. all religions do that.
Example:
Islam: IF YOU DON’T BELIEVE IN ALLAH YOU’RE GOING TO HELL
Christianity: IF YOU DON’T BELIEVE IN JESUS YOU’RE GOING TO HELL
and so on and so on.
lol all religions are like that. If you’re gonna do that, you should chew *everyone* out.
Since when is my sexuality a religion?
MARTIN LUTHER FAIL
Sorry. Lutheran’s don’t believe in the Rapture.
While this rapture stuff certainly applies to certain evangelical Christian sects, it is not mainstream Christian or Catholic belief by any means (especially in this day and age).
I suspect the anti-religion creator of this particular meme would be far too cowardly (but with good reason) to point out the religion where not only 100% of their adherents believe that non-believers are going to hell but also believe that the vast majority of women of their OWN faith will join them there, namely Islam. This is all written in the Quran, the literal word of God to Muslims–to disagree with a SINGLE LINE written in the Quran would be to claim Allah is wrong and to disavow Islam:
Don’t bother warning the disbelievers. Allah has made it impossible for them to believe so that he can torture them forever after they die. Quran 2:6-7
Christians and Jews (who believe in only part of the Scripture), will suffer in this life and go to hell in the next. 2:85
Allah will make disbelievers’ lives miserable in this world and torture them forever after they die. 2:114
Allah will leave the disbelievers alone for a while, but then he will compel them to the doom of Fire. 2:126
The doom of the disbelievers will not be lightened. 2:162
Those who hide the Scripture will have their bellies eaten with fire. Theirs will be a painful doom. 2:174
etc etc
^
TL;DR
Religion is a mental illness.